Three of my drawings were on display for the Georgia Artists with Disabilities Exhibition 2019. The drawing on the right was awarded Honorable Mention. This drawing will now go on tour throughout the state of Georgia for next year. This is my sixth year participating in this event

My drawing Nymphaea nouchai was selected to be in the show. Although I did not receive an award I was told that the judge pondered over my drawing for quite awhile. Maybe next year will be the year I will receive an award.

I participated in my first official art festival. The Pine Lake Fest. The picture shows how my booth looked with my new tent canopy at the festival.I know that this is just the beginning and I am barely scratching the surface but hopefully this will lead to more festivals to come in my future. Luckily I ran into the art fair coordinator of the Waldorf School here in Atlanta and she said she would be glad to have me at their fair in November.

Two of my drawings were on display for the Georgia Artists with Disabilities Exhibition 2018. Both drawings won awards. Best in Show and Honorable Mention. These drawings will now go on tour throughout the state of Georgia for next year. The drawing on the right was awarded Best in Show. I was so pleased and thankful that I was able to receive awards for both drawings.

Three of my drawings were on display for the Georgia Artists with Disabilities Exhibition 2017. Two of the drawings won awards. Best in Show and Honorable Mention. These drawings will now go on tour throughout the state of Georgia for the next year. The drawing on the right was awarded Best in Show. I was so pleased and thankful that I was able to receive two awards.

The reception for the Southeast Pastel Society 2017 Juried Members Exhibition was last night. This year marks my forth year being with the Southeastern Pastel Society and this is the forth year in a row I have been fortunate enough to be in the art exhibition/competition. Due to this accomplishment I received a Member of Excellence award. To have received this award establishes me as an artist in the community of pastelists. It is such an honor to be among such talented artists.

Three of my drawings were on display for the Georgia Artists with Disabilities Exhibition 2016. One of the drawings made Honorable Mention. This drawing will now go on tour throughout the state of Georgia for the next year. What an honor that my work is so well respected and received.

The reception for the SCAA World of Art in Georgia Exhibition was last night. I submitted three drawings to be in the show and all three were selected to be in the show. The exhibit showcased all different types of media so the art work varied greatly. The reception made for a great evening.

The reception for the Southeast Pastel Society 17th International Juried Exhibition symbolizes the pinnacle of my new found career drawing with pastels. It is such an honor to be among such talented and accomplished pastelists and that the judge thought enough of my work that I could be included in the show. This year marks my third year being with the Southeastern Pastel Society and this is the third year in a row I have been fortunate enough to be in the art exhibition/competition. This year the drawing of the succulent was chosen to be in the show. To be in the show establishes the benchmark for me as an artist.

I gave my third presentation to the Interactions Class at St Mark Methodist today. The topic of discussion was how God looks out for us. I challenged the class if God bestows upon us perceived adversity if he continues to look out. As we are brothers and sisters in Christ and regarded as one does God look out for others who may be or considered evil such as mass murderers or terrorist groups. I know he looks out for me and whoever else that may be. He looks out for me and I am at the place where I need to be in my life where I can get through the day without becoming overwhelmed as I have had in the past.

I attended the Georgia Artists with Disabilities Exhibition today in which I had three drawings on display. One of the drawings made Best of Show and the other received an Honorable Mention. What an honor that my work is so well respected and that so many people came up to me to tell me how much the admire my work. With patience I will get there.

I have always gone to church. There is something about it that provides for me affirmation. The people there may only be acquaintances but there is comfort in being accounted for in an environment that welcomes you for who you are. Many people, however, are unable to find that sweet spot and are unable to find a church that does not use judgement to condemn particularly with gay folk. I have experienced this once while attending a week long church summer camp. The one place where you should be finding a safe christian haven turned out to be a living hell at the time. I was not surprised when I went. Why would this be any different from school. Children are cruel and to this day I don’t like them. But my mother insisted that I go. There was this one girl who was particularly cruel and I remember her parents picked her up in an Imperial. I just wanted to go up to them and ask them if they knew just what kind of daughter they had. But even after this incident I knew it was them and not my connection with God so I kept going. With every move I have made, and there have been several, I made it a priority to find a church to acclimate myself and get to know people. It has served me well. God looks out for me.

I have been having more concern here lately about my lack of happiness in general. They say money cannot buy you happiness which is true but it certainly can help steer you in the right direction. In my treatment through cognitive behavioral therapy it was stressed that recognizing what you are grateful for will lessen negativity which it truly does. Everyday I live my life more aware of what I am grateful for. But that shroud of discontent I never seem to get rid of adversely affects my happiness. Whether I am at home being disengaged or out and about having to be on my toes I cannot shake it. This is how depression affects me along with the anxiety and irritability. We as an American society feel as though we are owed certain standards in life but we are not. I believe that this could be part of my problem. I don’t I have it when I think I should. But I am owed nothing.

I am grateful for most of all that has happened to me because I do not know what is the grand scheme of things but what I do know is that I am in a better position now than I have ever been before despite battling depression and lack of happiness. I must concentrate on the progression of my journey and find peace where I am now in order to allow happiness to manifest inside me.

My father always lived by these pearls of wisdom which has always resonated with me:

• God helps those who help themselves.
• When you hear of others woes you are glad to have your own.
• God never gives us more than we can handle.

A daily meditation book states for January 12th, ‘Today I pray that I may receive strength in the knowledge that God never gives us more than we can bear, that I can always, somehow, endure present pain, whereas the rituals of a lifetime, condensed into one disastrous moment, would surely overcome me.’

Then what happened to me? Where was the disconnect if I believed I always thought this true? On the same date the book also states ‘When I sit quietly and compare my life today with the way it used to be, the difference is almost beyond belief’.

Today when I reflect back I am in disbelief of what I went through back then. I am not healed. I am still disabled. Everyday, every hour I must make a conscious effort to curb negativity and to tell myself life is worth living. But my spiritual connection is more profound after hitting rock bottom and picking myself back up again. I gave up before out of desperation and immense pain. I told God I was ready to surrender and put myself in his arms. I believe he took me in but my time on earth was not through. So here I am a changed more healthier person who is more adept at managing life and hopefully contributing to society.

One of the associate ministers at my church spoke to us Sunday and the sermon was entitled ‘What Do We Do Now?’ What do we do now after we have achieved a lofty goal? I wrestle with this some after making an accomplishment. What will I do next that will provide me a sense of purpose? I then thought of my continuous battle with anxiety and the fact that I cannot find contentment. May be if I was content then I might take things for granted more than I do. I may become complacent and not advocate for what inspires me. I know what inspires me, which is my art work, preservation and restoration does not cause any disrespect toward others. Sometimes what others advocate can be misguided if it disrespects other people. These I think are what would be termed zealots? Anyway, this Sunday morning was another reminder to me that I have much to be grateful for with my troubled mind.