I have disclosed that I was bullied in school by my peers. Not only was it torturous when it happened but I was never at rest in school and filled with anxiety because I never knew when the threat of attack would occur. And I have always been anxious even before the bullying even started perhaps due to my genetic makeup and the fact that I grew up in an alcoholic home. I never knew when the next shoe would drop and there would be a chaotic situation at home. To this day I always have a feeling of unease even when I am by myself without threats from the outside world. Just simply waiting in anticipation for something that I perceive that maybe threatening. I am always fidgeting and my mind is never still. Meditation is not an option for me. The closest that I get to meditation is through my artwork. It is a release for me. Healthy anxiety can be a great motivator but when it overcomes me it can become dis-empowering and I am at a loss of what to do. And this is why I am so glad that there seems to be more of an awareness and intolerance over bullying, especially since bullying can be even more pervasive due to telecommunication. I am also thankful, despite my lack of self confidence perception, that I am able to make and maintain meaningful friendships and I am viewed as being well liked by others.
